For Goodness’ Sake: A daily book of cheer for everyone

For Goodness’ Sake: A daily book of cheer for nurses’ aides and others who care; by Bethany Knight, published by Hartman Publishing of Albuquerque, New Mexico, paperback, $12.95

reviewed by Bethany M. Dunbar

If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would read a book that would make me almost wish I was a nurse’s aide, I would not have believed it.

But For Goodness’ Sake: A daily book of cheer for nurses’ aides and others who care is just such a book.

The book, by Bethany Knight of Glover, is written for and about nurses’ aides and patients at nursing homes. The style is almost like a daily journal, with a little story for each day of the year and a small piece of advice. It does not glamorize the work of a nurse’s aide, but it makes the reader understand why someone would really enjoy the work.

The book is also full of memorable characters and words of wisdom for anyone in any kind of job. Ms. Knight’s powers of positive thinking are nothing short of amazing, and her bright optimistic view of the world shines through in her book. The book was first published in 1997 and has recently been republished in paperback.

Within its pages, we meet Elsie Kerrick, age 105, a resident at McFarland House Nursing Home in Barre, who asked for a ride in a hot air balloon for her birthday.

"How many of us would have listened to Elsie and said, ‘Uh huh. What else do you want, Elsie.’ Wouldn’t we be tempted to get something easier, less of an outrageous request?

"Fortunately for Elsie, the McFarland staff listened intently and took Elsie very seriously....

"Watching her face go skyward with a glorious grin made everyone know they had done the right thing, that they had made a difference."

The advice on the page for that day, which happens to be October 2, is this: "TODAY: Be blessed with foolishness."

Ms. Knight’s father opened the first senior citizen center in Michigan. Ms. Knight hung out with the senior citizens after school regularly.

"On the laps of the program participants, I was schooled in the wonder of growing old," she wrote.

Later, she worked as a long-term care ombudsman in Vermont’s nursing and residential care homes, and in 1986, she became the executive director of the Vermont Care Association, the state’s trade organization for the homes. She has worked as a lobbyist, a newspaper reporter, a gubernatorial speech writer, marketing consultant and is a licensed pastor, nursing assistant, and long-term care insurance agent.

The book is full of ideas for making a tough job work better, tips for making Alzheimer’s patients comfortable, and tips for working with others. For example, for a woman patient who refused to have her clothes changed for days and days — a nurse "accidentally" spills a small amount of warm water on her sleeve and then offers to get her out of that wet dress and into a clean one. A man who is agitated for an unknown reason every morning becomes calm as a kitten when he is brought a copy of the New York Times each morning — a lifetime habit.

Not all the stories in these pages are happy, but most are memorable. Ms. Knight recalls the story of a lady she later found out was named Ilene.

I was delivering something to the activities department.

Waiting for Sandy, the director, I began to visit with a stooped little lady curled up in her wheelchair like a shrimp. I think she knew me as the woman who occasionally led the Friday morning worship service. I later learned her name was Ilene.

"I bet you wonder why I married Mr. Johnson," she said.

I looked at her and said I hadn’t known she was married, but would she like to tell me about it? I was unprepared for what became a kind of confession.

"My friend died on the kitchen floor," Ilene said. "She had asked me to help her abort the baby. She couldn’t have another. She bled to death. I promised her I would marry her husband and raise her kids."

Not even forty words, and Ilene’s guilt and pain tumbled out into the day. I listened, never moving, giving Ilene the time and attention she needed.

"Have you forgiven yourself, Ilene?"

"No," said Ilene, unable to look me in the eye.

"God has forgiven you, Ilene. A long time ago," I said forcefully. "You helped your friend because you loved her. And you kept your promise. It is time you forgave yourself."

Ilene sighed and started to cry. I wheeled her to her room....

Less than a month later I read Ilene’s obituary. I believe she had forgiven herself.

For Goodness’ Sake is a reminder of the value of elderly people — their wisdom and the great stories they have to tell. It is recommended reading for anyone who might become old some day.

It is also a nice book for that cabin fever time of year when everything seems kind of depressing, cold, and dark. Ms. Knight’s pearls of wisdom will work for anyone in any job, not just nurses’ aides.

One page I love is about a pet peeve the author once had. It seemed she got more than her share of used-up rolls of toilet paper when she sat down, and she got so sick of it she started to write a poem about it one day.

Then she realized that this little nagging problem had been bothering her way too much, and she decided to turn it around by deciding that an empty toilet paper roll was a sign of good luck.

"Call it crazy, but it has worked so well that I now thank my family for leaving me empty rolls! And instead of anger this new reaction has generated quite a few laughs.

"A few summers ago, aboard a large ferry boat, my son came running out of the men’s bathroom. Looking down from the upper deck into the crowd of tourists, he yelled, ‘Mom! You’re going to love the men’s bathroom!’ The crowd became silent, heads whipped around to see this kinky mom. My son continued in a loud voice, ‘There’s no toilet paper!’"

The advice for that day:

"Transform your pet peeve."